50 Incidents of Abuse – Why Didn’t You Leave?

At Hestia, we understand that every incident of domestic abuse is unique yet we know one question that isn’t – “why didn’t they just leave?”

On average victims will experience abuse for 2.3 years which includes 50 incidents of abuse before seeking help (Office of National Statistics). This can be from contacting a police station or an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor (IDVA).

The reasons for staying in an abusive relationship are complex and will include several factors.

In Hestia’s last policy paper, Victim To Survivor, 25% of women delayed leaving for reasons relating to children, money and family whereas 34% did not know where to go after leaving the relationship.

A staggering 63% of Hestia residents did not know refuges existed before being referred to one.

50 Incidents of Abuse

Up until the point of leaving, victims may express feelings of low self-esteem. Their continued sense of terror can often cause mental health conditions such as PTSD, flashbacks, insomnia and anxiety. Hestia’s dedicated staff support residents to take back control of their life.

Leaving an abusive relationship is incredibly difficult and it is vital to support your friend or family member at their individual pace.

It is important to:

Every time a victim is questioned for not leaving, the accusation is deflected from the perpetrator and positioned against the victim.

How Hestia Helps

Hestia is the largest provider of domestic abuse refuges in London.  Every day our dedicated staff work with those who have escaped abusive relationships to empower and change lives.

Hestia Cycle Challenge

This November CEO Patrick Ryan will be cycling over 300km through Vietnam to raise money for children living in our Domestic Abuse refuges.

With your help we can be there to support more survivors towards recovery. £10 will provide a welcome pack for a woman and her child who arrive at our refuge with nothing but the clothes on their backs whereas £50 will provide a woman an hour of specialist trauma counselling.

Donate to Patrick’s JustGiving Page today

50 Incidents of Abuse

Follow their journey via @Hestia1970 and search #HestiaCycleChallenge